I am

I am twenty five and I am disappointed in myself. I think back to when I was younger and I never thought I would be where and how I am now. I didnt really plan for the future I just thought it would happen, and OH its happening and I feel so entirely unprepared.

High School was what it was and I was a loner then and during college and now in the almost two years I've been out of college I continue to be a loner. I am ashamed about this I never learned how to keep friends and also part of it has been finding people worth having around, another part being engrossed in my relationship with my boyfriend. I hate that I simply dont know anyone really, I have few people that I am 'friendly' with but not in the way I would like, I sometimes wonder is it LA or is it the VALLLEY?

I have come to understand that I am a homebody and that I'm introverted but I do like being social and I want to meet people, I seriously need all the friends I can get...

There's many things I need to work on, I've never been happy about myself. I want to learn how to be happy, and whole. I want to be open and honest. I am ashamed about who I am most of the time, and I dont want to be. I writing this because I don't want to care about what people think I was be honest about my situation and that I am aware I put myself here.

I hope to document my journey on working on some of these issues that I have. I understand its not going to be overnight and its going to take time.

Time is on my side, I hope.